If you’re wondering why you will vote the way you will, the press has it all figured out for you, so you’d better pay attention.

1. If you vote for Obama, it will not be because he’s black.

2. If you vote for Clinton, it will not be because she’s a woman.

3. If you do not vote for Obama, it will be because he’s black.

4. If you do not vote for Clinton, it will be because she’s a woman.

5. If you vote for McCain, it will be because you’re against having a black or woman president.

What did you say? You’re concerned about the issues? You’re not paying attention. Go back and read 1-5 again.